Several years ago, I began the journey of understanding, embracing, and living the practice of compassion. It seemed a natural progression to take in my quest to be a better, more enlightened person. I did my best to set aside 10 minutes every day to open my heart with compassion to my family, my friends, my community, and especially any person with whom I might be experiencing difficulties. I learned to see more clearly the struggles of other people and how those struggles might be influencing their behavior. I touched the place within my heart that wants nothing but the best for all beings. I looked for, and always found, the spark of light within others, the part of them that wants all the same things I want ~ love, happiness, peace, and fulfillment of our dreams.

As my practice of compassion evolved, so did my sense of patience, my willingness to forgive, and my hesitation to judge too quickly or too harshly. I found myself less fearful, less distrustful, and all around more open to receiving and giving the blessings of human connection. I was quite pleased with the fruits of my compassionate practice. But, as so often is the case, just when I was feeling comfortable with my practice, the universe gave me a little nudge to go deeper.

My son’s therapist suggested a book on Self-Compassion, by Kristin Neff, Ph.D. I was so certain my own practice of compassion was on-track, it never even occurred to me he was recommending the book for me. I purchased it and gave it to my son. The following week, he asked if I had found the book. I told him I’d given it to my son, but he had yet to start reading it. He looked at me with surprise, and said, Oh, was it for him? I thought it was for you.

The first thought to cross my mind was, wow, is my lack of self-compassion written all over my face or what? I wondered what made him think I needed such a book. Of course, now that I’ve read the book, I reflect on that initial reaction with an inward giggle. It is precisely that sort of self-critical thinking that self-compassion helps to dissolve.

Even though all my learning on the practice of compassion had taught me the importance of first extending compassion to myself, and then to others, for 2 years I’d been devoting the bulk of my practice to developing compassion for others. I had found it easier, more noble, to open my heart to compassion for other people. I would even judge myself for not being compassionate enough. Despite the diligence of my practice, I had completely missed the boat.

Now, as I’ve begun to offer that same kindness, understanding, and goodwill to myself, I am experiencing a profound shift in my quest to be a better, more enlightened person. In fact, that shift is so fundamental it has altered the very intention of my quest. I can see that the desire to be a better person inherently implies there is something wrong with who I am to begin with. Like a hamster on the wheel of self-improvement, for many years I’ve been tirelessly running toward a goal that can never be attained ~ perfection. What a different perspective I have now that I’ve stepped off that wheel.

For one, I can see and accept that as a human, it is in my DNA to make mistakes, to be less than perfect, to fall, to do and say things I’m not proud of. It’s in my nature to be afraid sometimes, as well as to be sad, angry, jealous, and so on. Struggle is as much a part of the human experience as is joy and celebration. I am shadow as well as light. It is when I embrace all aspects of my experience, my being, with loving compassion, rather than denial or resistance, that I am finally able to understand and embrace what it means to be alive.

This is the incredible gift of self-compassion ~ to see ourselves with clarity, warts and all; to understand more deeply our emotions, reactions, and struggles; to wrap ourselves in the arms of our own loving support and be comforted and inspired. It is a gift no one else can give or take away. And, it is the fertile ground from which a more compassionate world arises. Every thing we experience is first and foremost a personal experience, filtered through the lens of our own inner-terrain. Compassion for each other flows naturally from the springs of compassion we nurture for ourselves.

I highly recommend Kristin Neff’s book entitled Self-Compassion, as well as her website http://www.self-compassion.org/. Her book can be purchased on her website or on Amazon, but the website offers good information as well as guided meditations.

Rose Hahn is a yoga instructor and Phoenix Rising Yoga Therapist. As a national speaker, she has presented seminars and workshops on yogic healing techniques, conscious evolution, and the return of the divine feminine energy. Over 100,00 copies of her novel, 2012: Waking of the Prophets, have been distributed. (Available at Amazon.com)

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Rose_Hahn

 

Boost Your Self-Esteem – 7 Steps to Help You on Your Way

 

 

In order to live a successful and fulfilled life we need to have self-worth and a healthy self-esteem. Some individuals will look to others, or their material successes, to determine their self-worth but by far the most important assessment is the way you feel about yourself.

Boosting your self-esteem can be done and there are numerous ways of doing so. You can take the steps necessary to build your self-worth and well-being and in so doing you will be practicing the most effective means of preventative medicine around.

Seven Ways to Boost your Self-Esteem:

1. Do what you love. If you devote time to doing those things you love doing the better you will feel. When we do the things we enjoy our brains produce greater levels of endorphins, a chemical in the brain that makes us feel a sense of joy and general well-being.

Doing the things that we love to do aids us in remembering the previous times that we did them and the memories conjured help to boost self-esteem. Invariably it is the things that we particularly enjoy that we tend to excel at and this is a contributing factor in increasing self-esteem.

2. Strengthen your strengths. This is more than merely a play on words. By exercising your strengths they become stronger and your self-esteem is then raised as well. Everyone enjoys feeling proud of their accomplishments and doing the things you are good at will help you feel better about yourself.

Devote time to working on your strengths, to building them, and renewing them. You will soon discover your inner approval rating will rise.

3. Keep positive people around you. Positive energy is electrifying and moves from one to another. By keeping company with positive people your own attitude will rise so that it matches theirs and you will feel charged from their energy.

4. Measure your worth according to yourself not according to others. We all perceive the world based upon our biases and our circumstances. When we are subjected to the negative energy of others it really reflects their own deficiencies rather than those of the person whom they are directing it towards.

Never base your self-esteem on other people’s opinions. This is a recipe for disaster. Rather, determine your value on what you know to be true about yourself from within rather than from without.

5. Believe in yourself. You have the ability you need to achieve whatever you put your mind to achieving. Believe that you are able to reach your goals and that will enable you to release the ability within you.

6. Focus on what you want to attract. The late great Albert Einstein came to the conclusion that everything is made of energy and energy attracts more of the same energy. By focusing your thoughts on that which you want in your life you will keep the energy of those things moving in your direction.

7. Say affirmative things to yourself. You have heard the phrase “act as if”. Well, that is the principle behind affirmations. Rather than saying, “I wish I was happy” or “I want to be happy”, say instead “I am a happy person”. Make sure to say it aloud each day.

By doing this you effectively reprogram your subconscious mind into believing this as your truth and soon you will feel it each day as well.

As you can see these steps are simple ways of boosting your self-esteem and they are easy to make a part of your daily life. Begin today and you will be able to build your self-worth and your self-esteem into your very character. You will discover that your life will be forever changed.

Sign up for your free 7 day e-course “Boost Your Self-Esteem” to learn how to raise your self-esteem and be free of anxiety, stress and loneliness as your life becomes more rewarding and satisfying. Grab your copy now as this special e-course may not be available for long.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Kevin_Sinclair

 

 

Creating Happiness – How to Find Happiness in Your Life

It seems that everyone wants to be happier, but very few are. Even with the explosion of books about happiness in the past few years, most people remain unhappy. There seems to be many ‘outer’ reasons for an unhappy life:

• Financial failure of many kinds
• Unworkable intimate relationships
• Poor health
• Failure to creatively express oneself
• Not enough of _________
• Too much of __________

The above list could go on to fill a book. But the ‘outer’ reasons are only symptoms of a much deeper need. If you are not happy, it has everything to do with you, and nothing to do with anything or anyone else. I hear you saying, “oh yeah, what about _________?” You could fill in the blank with many excuses, I am sure. But that is really all they are – excuses.

The real reason you are not happy has only to do with what you think of yourself and how you treat yourself. Happiness, like most ‘emotions’ or states-of-mind comes from within. To end your unhappy state, you must start exploring why you feel unhappy. Below are three aspects I believe, if practiced daily, will set you on the road to happiness

1. Love and Accept Yourself

You positively cannot be happy until you love yourself and accept yourself for who you are. Loving yourself may look different to different people, but love is pretty much the same in this context for most everyone. To get a better idea of how I view love, read “How Do You Experience Love?” on my website,

Loving yourself begins by accepting yourself just the way you are. There is nothing wrong with you; you are perfect just the way you are. If there are aspects of your mind or body, you feel need changing, then explore what actions you could take to do that. But, in the moment, accept that you are a perfect being of love, just the way God, or whatever name you use, created you to be. God does not make mistakes, and you are an embodiment of this eternal Force.

Look into your eyes in front of a full length mirror, one that shows most of your body, and say your name, repeating the following: “your name, I accept you just the way you are”. You may not really mean it the first few times, but keep at it until you feel love when you say the words. You could then go to “your name, I love you”. Say it over and over until you really feel you mean it.

2. Express Yourself

Who you are is revealed through how you express yourself, and this can take on multiple ways of expression. You express yourself through your work, with your family, with your friends, with business associates, and so forth. Are they all the same? If you truly know who you are, they will be. If not, you will be someone different for each group of people. You cannot be happy living multiple lives.
To be happy, you must know who you are and express from that same place, always. Otherwise, you are trying to fit into someone else’s expectation of who each one thinks you are. By trying to please and be accepted by everyone, you will never become fully aware of who you really are.

Contemplate or mediate on who this person is that lives your body and creates your life. This person came here for a reason, a purpose. Only you can determine what your purpose is and how to live your life from that place. Practice going within and asking, “Who am I?”, “why am I here?”, “What is my next step?” You will get answers over time; then express yourself from this place.

3. Boldly Live Your Life As If It Mattered

Unhappy people have no purpose, no focus, and no awareness. They just go about their lives habitually doing the same thing repeatedly. As I mentioned above, you came here on purpose, to make a difference. Step into a purposeful life by first determining what your passion is.

Make a list of all the things you have always loved doing, or wanted to do. Narrow them down to the one thing that makes your heart beat faster when you think of it, that causes you to smile, that brings you joy. Pursue that one thing with fervor; go for it with all your mind and emotion.

Only you can do what you came here to do in the unique way you can do it. Only you feel drawn to it with passion in the way you feel drawn to do it. Only you have the gusto to reach out and take the steps toward its creation. Happiness is living a life that matters and giving it all that you have. Go for it now, and be happy.

The preceding three steps are not something you complete in a few days or weeks, or even months. They all take perseverance, practice, and action. You cannot do them haphazardly. They must be thought of and practiced with determination, focus, and awareness. Going all out, full bore towards a happy life will reap rewards beyond your wildest dreams. But you cannot get there unless you start.

“Whatever you can do or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power and magic in it. Begin it now.” (Goethe)

By Art Ramsay, Ph.D.

As a coach and author, my focus on is on Inner Peace and how once it is used in our lives, it pulls us into a magnificent aura of love and harmony with our world. The articles I write pinpoint aspects of our lives that keep us stressed, and how to move from stress to peace.

To read more articles and explore other resources on how to shed fear, worry, and stress; and discover the peace already within you, go to: http://www.innerpeaceandwisdom.com